Monday, September 17, 2007

Dos Bro’s

DARIUS
[Picks up the phone]
Hello.
JOSH
Sup man?

DARIUS
Nothing just chillin you. You?

JOSH
Nothing here either, you wanna hang tonight?

DARIUS
Damn straight I do my crib or yours?

JOSH
Yer mom home?

DARIUS
Nah she got work tonight so she aint gunna be home tell probably tomorrow afternoon.

JOSH
Tight. Alright I’ll see you round seven.

DARIUS
[Hanging up the phone]
Alright peace.


[Curtain comes down and then back up to Darius on a couch. It’s later that night and there is a knock on Darius’ front door.]

DARIUS
[Gets up from his couch pauses his video game and answers the door]
Yo man, wassup its seven already?

JOSH
Yeah, actually it’s like seven fifteen. So you wanna pick up tonight?

DARIUS
Uhhhhhhh yeah that’s cool. From who though?


JOSH
Well, I just met this guy over north last week. I see you got the car so you think we can go over there?

DARIUS
Yeah that’s cool when you wanna go?

JOSH
Can we right now? Then we can get this night Started quick.

DARIUS
Alright, but hold up I gotta grab the keys.

JOSH
Alright I’ma be by the car.

DARIUS
[Walking out to his car and seeing JOSH on his hood]
Yo get off my hood. I don’t need you scratching that shit up!

JOSH
[Laughing]
On this piece of shit you wouldn’t be able to tell.

DARIUS
Not like you got any better. What you riding around a huffy?

JOSH
Shut up.

[JOSH and DARIUS get into the car and shut the doors. The curtain falls and re opens to an inner city scene with apartment buildings]

DARIUS
Where this boy be at?

JOSH
He stay over in those apartments by that S.A.

DARIUS
Wait, the ones where that Brianna or Briandra or whoever works?

JOSH
Who?


DARIUS
That girl uhhhhhhh never mind.

JOSH
Ok.

DARIUS
[Pointing at one of the apartment buildings]
This it up here?

JOSH
Yeah those on the left.


[DARIUS parks the car in front of the building]

DARIUS
So, do we go up or wait out here or what?

JOSH
[Pulling his phone out of his pocket]
I’m gunna call him.

DARIUS
Ok.

[JOSH talks on the phone for a bit mumbles a few things to the person on the other line then hangs up]

DARIUS
So, what he say?

JOSH
I think he’s high or sumthin.

DARIUS
Why do you think that?

JOSH
Well he was being kinda weird.

DARIUS
[A little suspicious because he doesn’t know the guy]
How so?


JOSH
Well, he asked what color car we were in and then he said to wait fifteen minuets.

DARIUS
Are you sure this guy cool? He aint gunna try and jump us is he?

JOSH
Nah, he’s just some crack head looking mofo?

DARIUS
Alright but this shit better be bomb as hell cause I used a bit of gas.

JOSH
It will I promise. So how you and your girl doing.

DARIUS
[Looking pretty happy at the thought of his girlfriend]
Actually we’re doin great. Funny you bring her up right now. That reminds me I was gunna tell you I might have to quit this shit soon.

JOSH
[Noticing DARIUS’ look turn from happy to a bit ashamed]
Why?
DARIUS
[Pauses for a few moments]
Well, it’s my girl.

JOSH
[Rolling his eyes]
Well I kind of figured that but why?

DARIUS
[The happiness coming back to his face]
I’m gunna propose to her. I’ve had it in my head for about a month now. Now I NEED to propose to her though. I have it all planned out how I’m gunna do it and everything. I even used my new car money to buy her a ring.

JOSH
[Totally blown away by what DARIUS had said]
WHAT! Yer gunna propose? A month? You need to? You have it planned? Darius are you kidding me you’ve been saving that money for almost 3 years. What if she says no why do you need to?



DARIUS
[Smiling as big as he can]
Yes, I’m gunna ask her to marry me I mean we’ve been together almost 4 years now. Oh and I forgot to mention one thing. She’s pregnant. I really don’t thi

JOSH
[Interrupting DARIUS]
What! She’s Pregnant!

DARIUS
Josh I can’t just sit around smoking weed and drinking the rest of my life. I got her pregnant and you know I’m not the kind of guy to walk out on my girl. Its gunna be hard having a kid and being married but I’m willing to deal with that shit I love her man.

JOSH
[Yelling]
What the hell man! When did you go and freaking grow up? Last night when I was at that party cause this is the first I herd of this. Well whatever man lets just not talk about this right now. I just wanna get high and chill with my boy for as much longer as he is my boy at least.

DARIUS
[Pulling a little box out of his pocket]
Can I at least show you the ring man?

JOSH
[Shrugs his shoulders]
Yeah whatever man. I’m sorry about just blowing up on you but it’s just all my boys are getting responsible n shit. I feel like a hobo cause I aint gone nowhere and I doubt I ever will. I’m sorry man I should be happy for you. So yer gunna have a wedding and everything?

DARIUS
Yeah, not a real big one but in a church and everything.

JOSH
So…...
[JOSH pauses]

DARIUS
What?

JOSH
Do you know who’s gunna be yer best man yet?

DARIUS
Well actually I was thinking maybe you Josh.

JOSH
[Smiling big]
You serious! Oh hell no yer kidding me right?

DARIUS
Does a Bear shit in the woods and wipe his ass with a fluffy white rabbit? Yeah I’m serious man do you wanna be my best man?

JOSH
Damn straight boy!

DARIUS
Alright good I’ll let my girl know I’m sure she’ll be happy. So you wanna see the ring now?

JOSH
Yeah man but it better be iced out as hell for all that money you spent on it.

[Both JOSH and DARIUS start laughing]

DARIUS
[Opens the ring box and shows it to JOSH]
See I picked it myself you think she’s gunna like it?

JOSH
Damn boy! You must love this girl. I aint never seen you buy something like that for yourself. To be honest you wouldn’t even buy something fake that looked that nice for yourself.

[JOSH and DARIUS break into laughter again]

DARIUS
Yeah, I love her man, I really love her.

[Just as Darius is putting the ring away he feels something cold and hard against the side of his forehead]

DARIUS
Oh shit.




JOSH
[Realizing DARIUS had a gun held up to his head by the so called “crack head looking mofo” that was “cool”]
What the f*** man. What are you doing?

GUY WITH GUN
Alright if either of you wanna make it outta here alive you better shut up. Now give me yer wallets, and you give me that big ass ring I just seen you stick in yer pocket.

JOSH
[Extremely pissed off]
What the hell do you think yer doing man?

GUY WITH GUN
[Aims the gun at JOSH’s leg]
This!
[Shoots Josh in the leg]
Now give me yer wallets and the ring and you can get the hell outta here.

DARIUS
Just give him yer damn wallet man for once I actually have too much to live for.

JOSH
[As he slowly inches his leg towards the driver’s side of the car]
Hell no!

[JOSH slams his foot on the gas peddle as you hear two shots ring out and glass shattering]

JOSH
Drive Darius f****** drive man

JOSH
[Noticing DARIUS was bleeding from the neck]
What! No Darius! Darius!

[JOSH looks at the road realizing they’re headed right for the S.A. then looks back at DARIUS]

JOSH
I’m sorry man

[There’s an explosion and a bright flash of light then the curtain falls]

17 comments:

LazyRebel said...

hey, your plays actually pretty good. you just need to pay more attention to spelling and stuff cause it got kinda confusing. and i think you should add more on the end. like, where would you go after getting shot by your connection?

Cooper said...

This was inteeense. You had really good humor in this and the dialogue between the Josh and Darius felt really natural. I also loved the how it got suddenly serious when the topic of marriage came up without seeming stretched.

I thought that Josh got over his anger and became complacent a little too quickly which sort of took away the charge of the scene. And I just felt like the ending didn't give a whole lot of closure on the situation but it was still interesting and unexpected.

Great Job.

Leanna said...

DANG MAN. thats really sad i can't believe you killed them off. thats sad. i really like the part about them purposing to his girl

Anonymous said...

Hey, i loved your play!! i liked the dialogue between Darius and Josh. I think you should add on a little to the end after being shot, it needs a little closure. But it was very good!! I loved it. Good job

Melody_Anderson said...

wow i want more! lol it was good i thought but it ended too quickly....its good for a 10 minute tho. it got confusing at parts but over all..

Sam said...

I thought your play was good. I think that the location jumps around a little too much. The big plot twist was very shocking.

Josh said...

It was a good play, I just wish Josh would have survived. He would have felt so much worse about not giving the man with the gun his wallet. Josh also would have told Darius' girlfriend what happened, it would have been pretty interesting.

Rebecca said...

i loved the twist at the end. it was really sad that now he has so much to live for, Darius had to die but that just shows how life can be cut short when yo uleast expect it.

Alisha said...

I really like the relationship between Josh and Darius. It feels real and people can relate, I'm sure.

I'm surprised I like this because I'm usually not a fan of sad endings, even though I write some myself sometimes. But overall, you did a great job. Very interesting.

Kaddy said...

Thats some deep shit man. I'm loving it. The way it feels so real. I'm pretty pumped to read the rest of your stuff.

Anonymous said...

I really liked your play, it seemed like he was really happy with his life and it really surprised me at the end. I like how he seemed so young but old enough to handle marriage. Good job !

Anonymous said...

AAAHHHHH! why did they have to die??? You are do lazy. Not,just Kidding. I wanted Darius to get with his girl. your play was awesome.

LindsayB said...

intense charlie! I liked how you made your characters seem real and 'hip' in today's society. great job!! :)

robyn said...

Right, thats cool. Most people are sad when people are killed off, but you make it, um not maddening. and while i continue to use bad grammar you should keep writing.

EMiLEE said...

Charlie...ummm...yea i like your story. It has a nice little twist and it has a good plot. It has kinda of a lot of cussin but i think it fits with the people in your play. so yea...good job buddy!

Zoua said...

your play is really good! i like how you can see the setting in your had...i think that it is really good.

Austin said...

hey. ok yea ill send it to you. its 12 pages long so far. wats your e-mail?